I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
