My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
