I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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