So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
