We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My first STD was from a foam party
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
