i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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