yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
