And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
3pm strippers are depressing
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
