how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
