He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
