i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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