Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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