He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
