i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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