...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
