He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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