Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
