Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
