Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Panties = found
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize