We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
