don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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