When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
