I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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