if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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