All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
