You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
