I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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