Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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