What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
