Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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