Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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