there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
