Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
