If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my sisters under your porch take her home
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
