OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
