bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
