so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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