Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
