It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
