I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
