peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How's work?
Spinning.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
