Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
