you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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