i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
