Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
