RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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