Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
