If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
