I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
