I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
