Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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