I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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