How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
