My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
